The curse…
May you never know a moment of peace and may your soul never see the light…
May every angel in the sky forsake you and every demon in hell hunt you down day and night…
May you tumble and turn in a million directions and never ever find your way out…
May you live long and reap a lifetime of nothingness…emptiness…of mind and heart…
May every drop of rain remind you of me, every bird, every butterfly…
May you know with each breath that you have already had the best days of your life…
May the curse of my heart bring down upon you the wrath of the earth and the sky …
This is the curse of a woman’s heart… earned to be unleashed...once loose... there is no redemption...there is no escape...
AS YOU CAN SEE IT IS BEST NOT TO MESS WITH HOURIG - Rick
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Visits
Showing posts with label By Hourig in Tel Aviv. Show all posts
Showing posts with label By Hourig in Tel Aviv. Show all posts
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Sunday, January 3, 2010
TO BE by Hourig DelDelian
To BE
You look around you one day, look hard, and you see gray skies, horrifying news, people going mad, children loosing innocence, smelless grass, polluted seas, superficial smiles, deadly disease, rootless families, screwed beliefs, pained eyes, deprived souls, lonely hearts, endless roads… and so much, so much more…
You stop for a minute and think: what’s wrong with the world??? You think for just a moment longer and you realize… it’s US and what we have become!
We stopped taking care of what counts, of our dreams, of our children and those around us.
We drowned in the world of material gains…
We buried our hearts and hung on to the brilliance of our IQs…
We lost faith in the human race…
We stopped believing in GOD, we became arrogantly “FREE”…
We forgot about Santas, angels and fairies…we left them behind.
We preferred this forged world to the world of spirit and soul…
We have become shallow empty shells, making excuses for this new “ME”… But deep inside, when you stop for that moment, you realize what you’ve become and it is sad, so very sad…
You try to build again, to become what you once were. You try to see through brighter eyes, breathe with a lighter heart, smile with your soul, love with your entire being…Care to care, love to love, be there because you want to… because you want to…
Those around you are still what they are, but now they don’t understand … they look for your motive, they look for what you have to gain… I told you it’s sad to see what we have become, but I insist on the change… I insist to love and care, I insist to notice the little things, I insist to believe, I insist to give, I insist to live with passion, I insist to hope, I insist to try, I insist to risk, I insist to … for God’s sake…BE… and I insist that I don’t understand why, without any of this, I would open my eyes in the morning, put my feet on the ground…and think that I am actually ALIVE…
January 2005
You look around you one day, look hard, and you see gray skies, horrifying news, people going mad, children loosing innocence, smelless grass, polluted seas, superficial smiles, deadly disease, rootless families, screwed beliefs, pained eyes, deprived souls, lonely hearts, endless roads… and so much, so much more…
You stop for a minute and think: what’s wrong with the world??? You think for just a moment longer and you realize… it’s US and what we have become!
We stopped taking care of what counts, of our dreams, of our children and those around us.
We drowned in the world of material gains…
We buried our hearts and hung on to the brilliance of our IQs…
We lost faith in the human race…
We stopped believing in GOD, we became arrogantly “FREE”…
We forgot about Santas, angels and fairies…we left them behind.
We preferred this forged world to the world of spirit and soul…
We have become shallow empty shells, making excuses for this new “ME”… But deep inside, when you stop for that moment, you realize what you’ve become and it is sad, so very sad…
You try to build again, to become what you once were. You try to see through brighter eyes, breathe with a lighter heart, smile with your soul, love with your entire being…Care to care, love to love, be there because you want to… because you want to…
Those around you are still what they are, but now they don’t understand … they look for your motive, they look for what you have to gain… I told you it’s sad to see what we have become, but I insist on the change… I insist to love and care, I insist to notice the little things, I insist to believe, I insist to give, I insist to live with passion, I insist to hope, I insist to try, I insist to risk, I insist to … for God’s sake…BE… and I insist that I don’t understand why, without any of this, I would open my eyes in the morning, put my feet on the ground…and think that I am actually ALIVE…
January 2005
Thursday, December 3, 2009
DOES YOUR HEART BELIEVE? By Hourig DelDelian
I want to believe... in the good in people, in forever loves, in kind Gods and fairies, in angels and family, in the innocence of a sleeping baby, in the comfort of friendship and the miracle of soul mates…in justice and redemption…in freedom, not of lands but of US…
I want to believe in everything impossible, as impossible as it seems, because deep inside I know that there is nothing IMPOSSIBLE… there is no impossible love, there is no impossible dream… there is always a way to be what we want to be, to be complete… as long as the heart believes… and mine, still believes…
January 2005
I want to believe in everything impossible, as impossible as it seems, because deep inside I know that there is nothing IMPOSSIBLE… there is no impossible love, there is no impossible dream… there is always a way to be what we want to be, to be complete… as long as the heart believes… and mine, still believes…
January 2005
Saturday, November 21, 2009
LET MY SPIRIT RUN FREE by Hourig Deldelian
“Let my spirit run free”
It’s a dangerous statement, a strange statement; some may look at it and not understand. They are either not that lost or don’t know that they are or one of the few, blessed, who are running free.
I try to make it make sense, put into words what I feel. Express my feelings, my sense of loss, this suffocation, the emptiness in my heart, but it’s hard, impossible, to explain how it all feels.
I know I will sound mad to most if I tell them I don’t believe this is all there is to life, this existence we have; running to jobs, raising children, keeping a house, a bank account, education, prayer and all the other ways we choose to live life…That I believe there is something more, and it’s powerful, and we won’t be fulfilled without it, will not know happiness without it, peace, and yet I have no clue, none, what it is.
That I am looking for the invisible, the complicated, the hidden, the figment of my imagination, the dream, the mirage, it can be any of these things… it frightens me to think this way, I try to feel happy with all the blessings in my life, but none of it is ever complete, there is always an important missing piece. Something, once found, there will be Peace… peace of the soul… peace of the heart… peace of the mind… then… I will be complete. The creation that God meant for me to be…
I do believe that we knew it once, this secret, but we lost it along the years. Life is a journey and I feel I am wasting mine, living it as I do, half a woman, half a heart, half a soul.
I will keep searching, for what I don’t know. Will I find it, I don’t know. Is it even there, I don’t know. But I do know that this is not enough and I need to look for something more…
There is somewhere an ancient road, where people have found themselves, found the secret, the hope… it’s a pilgrimage, an old tradition for those who have gotten lost… perhaps on this road I will find, what I am quite sure is waiting for me… waiting faithfully for anyone who seeks it…
What a scary feeling, living in the hope of something, looking for something, waiting for something… yet what it is? You don’t know… Does it exist? Maybe yes but then again maybe not…
It’s a dangerous statement, a strange statement; some may look at it and not understand. They are either not that lost or don’t know that they are or one of the few, blessed, who are running free.
I try to make it make sense, put into words what I feel. Express my feelings, my sense of loss, this suffocation, the emptiness in my heart, but it’s hard, impossible, to explain how it all feels.
I know I will sound mad to most if I tell them I don’t believe this is all there is to life, this existence we have; running to jobs, raising children, keeping a house, a bank account, education, prayer and all the other ways we choose to live life…That I believe there is something more, and it’s powerful, and we won’t be fulfilled without it, will not know happiness without it, peace, and yet I have no clue, none, what it is.
That I am looking for the invisible, the complicated, the hidden, the figment of my imagination, the dream, the mirage, it can be any of these things… it frightens me to think this way, I try to feel happy with all the blessings in my life, but none of it is ever complete, there is always an important missing piece. Something, once found, there will be Peace… peace of the soul… peace of the heart… peace of the mind… then… I will be complete. The creation that God meant for me to be…
I do believe that we knew it once, this secret, but we lost it along the years. Life is a journey and I feel I am wasting mine, living it as I do, half a woman, half a heart, half a soul.
I will keep searching, for what I don’t know. Will I find it, I don’t know. Is it even there, I don’t know. But I do know that this is not enough and I need to look for something more…
There is somewhere an ancient road, where people have found themselves, found the secret, the hope… it’s a pilgrimage, an old tradition for those who have gotten lost… perhaps on this road I will find, what I am quite sure is waiting for me… waiting faithfully for anyone who seeks it…
What a scary feeling, living in the hope of something, looking for something, waiting for something… yet what it is? You don’t know… Does it exist? Maybe yes but then again maybe not…
Monday, November 16, 2009
SEASONS OF THE HEART by Hourig DelDelian
Seasons of the Heart
Nature goes through 4 seasons century after century, the heart goes through endless ones in the span of a life. Whenever a season comes, we are not sure what it will bring, if it will be good, bad, long, short… but we know for sure that like the seasons of nature, the seasons of the heart also come and go… What is different is that some of its seasons leave tracks that we carry deep in our roots despite the changes of time.
We all live with the hope that this will be the best of seasons. And when it turns out to be a stormy one, we hope it will be short… we reason with it for a while, we despair of it for a while, we get angry at it for while… in the end, we look for a glimmer of sense of what it could still have given us… when we fail to see it, we trust that a bigger power had a plan for it that is just too large for us to see at the moment, accept it, and then we are able to welcome the next one…
And better seasons come, they bring joy and love and warmth and all kinds of beautiful things… we rejoice for while, we feel blessed for a while, we are awed by it all for a while and then, after a while, we take it for granted and see it as a way of life and the spark is gone and we strive to find something that will make the season special… We are amazing that way…
What can I say, I’ve had calm seasons, stormy seasons, joyful seasons, painful seasons, rewarding seasons, lonely seasons, loving seasons, tiring seasons… They all had meaning, none of it is meaningless or without purpose, that I know for sure. They all were what they were because of others who contributed to them and because of how I reacted to them… and I am thankful for it all, good and bad, because they mean that I lived, I dared, I jumped, I bent, I stood tall, I took heart, I believed, I hoped, I cried and I felt an abundance of things that I can look back on and say despite it all, despite my mistakes and through my triumphs, I lived while I was alive… and I am looking forward to the seasons still in store, I hope there will be many to come, with excitement, hope and a measure of fear and I will live them with all the courage I have inside… Live while you are alive, it all only happens but once..
Nature goes through 4 seasons century after century, the heart goes through endless ones in the span of a life. Whenever a season comes, we are not sure what it will bring, if it will be good, bad, long, short… but we know for sure that like the seasons of nature, the seasons of the heart also come and go… What is different is that some of its seasons leave tracks that we carry deep in our roots despite the changes of time.
We all live with the hope that this will be the best of seasons. And when it turns out to be a stormy one, we hope it will be short… we reason with it for a while, we despair of it for a while, we get angry at it for while… in the end, we look for a glimmer of sense of what it could still have given us… when we fail to see it, we trust that a bigger power had a plan for it that is just too large for us to see at the moment, accept it, and then we are able to welcome the next one…
And better seasons come, they bring joy and love and warmth and all kinds of beautiful things… we rejoice for while, we feel blessed for a while, we are awed by it all for a while and then, after a while, we take it for granted and see it as a way of life and the spark is gone and we strive to find something that will make the season special… We are amazing that way…
What can I say, I’ve had calm seasons, stormy seasons, joyful seasons, painful seasons, rewarding seasons, lonely seasons, loving seasons, tiring seasons… They all had meaning, none of it is meaningless or without purpose, that I know for sure. They all were what they were because of others who contributed to them and because of how I reacted to them… and I am thankful for it all, good and bad, because they mean that I lived, I dared, I jumped, I bent, I stood tall, I took heart, I believed, I hoped, I cried and I felt an abundance of things that I can look back on and say despite it all, despite my mistakes and through my triumphs, I lived while I was alive… and I am looking forward to the seasons still in store, I hope there will be many to come, with excitement, hope and a measure of fear and I will live them with all the courage I have inside… Live while you are alive, it all only happens but once..
Saturday, November 14, 2009
IT HURTS INSIDE by Hourig DelDelian
It hurts inside
“Having loved and lost is better than never having loved at all””… whoever said that has never really nursed a broken heart… Do you know what it feels like… this almost devastating sense of loss…the numbness inside…losing the core of your soul??? It’s like parts of you are left somewhere behind…
Have you ever broken your own heart and wondered when all the pain kicked in how you will look in the mirror and explain it to HER??? How you would tell her you had no other choice???
Have you come up against a dead end, or at least allowed yourself to be told it is one, when you always believed there is nothing impossible, there is no impossible situation, there is no impossible dream???
Have you almost wanted to scream from the center of your being and be heard to the ends of the world but found that you have lost your voice???
Have you ever walked away from the love of a lifetime knowing what you are doing but knowing there is no other way??? I did…I did…
Have you ever done that knowing that that kind of love may cross your way once if you are lucky, twice if you are really blessed but that it is possible that it will never cross your path again???
Do you know what THAT feels like??? I do today… I know my heart will hurt, my very center will scream… I wonder, is there anything, anything at all I could still have done?
I thought I had loved and lost once, survived, and have become invincible… nothing could ever hurt me like that because I would never love like that again… but sometimes love just sneaks up on you when you least expect it and takes your heart hostage in its hand and all you can do is hope that they will know what to do with it...
They say sometimes you love and you are loved, but the moment is not right… I don’t think I believe that! Hell, I KNOW I don’t… I believe you don’t get a choice in fighting for love…you know why??? because it would cripple you, numb you, waste your breath, drive you mad, tie your hands and dim your eyes and waste all your joys to just let it go… that is if your heart truly fell in love with all its being...if you fell in love heart and soul...
“Having loved and lost is better than never having loved at all””… whoever said that has never really nursed a broken heart… Do you know what it feels like… this almost devastating sense of loss…the numbness inside…losing the core of your soul??? It’s like parts of you are left somewhere behind…
Have you ever broken your own heart and wondered when all the pain kicked in how you will look in the mirror and explain it to HER??? How you would tell her you had no other choice???
Have you come up against a dead end, or at least allowed yourself to be told it is one, when you always believed there is nothing impossible, there is no impossible situation, there is no impossible dream???
Have you almost wanted to scream from the center of your being and be heard to the ends of the world but found that you have lost your voice???
Have you ever walked away from the love of a lifetime knowing what you are doing but knowing there is no other way??? I did…I did…
Have you ever done that knowing that that kind of love may cross your way once if you are lucky, twice if you are really blessed but that it is possible that it will never cross your path again???
Do you know what THAT feels like??? I do today… I know my heart will hurt, my very center will scream… I wonder, is there anything, anything at all I could still have done?
I thought I had loved and lost once, survived, and have become invincible… nothing could ever hurt me like that because I would never love like that again… but sometimes love just sneaks up on you when you least expect it and takes your heart hostage in its hand and all you can do is hope that they will know what to do with it...
They say sometimes you love and you are loved, but the moment is not right… I don’t think I believe that! Hell, I KNOW I don’t… I believe you don’t get a choice in fighting for love…you know why??? because it would cripple you, numb you, waste your breath, drive you mad, tie your hands and dim your eyes and waste all your joys to just let it go… that is if your heart truly fell in love with all its being...if you fell in love heart and soul...
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