IT HURTS INSIDE by Hourig DelDelian

It hurts inside

“Having loved and lost is better than never having loved at all””… whoever said that has never really nursed a broken heart… Do you know what it feels like… this almost devastating sense of loss…the numbness inside…losing the core of your soul??? It’s like parts of you are left somewhere behind…

Have you ever broken your own heart and wondered when all the pain kicked in how you will look in the mirror and explain it to HER??? How you would tell her you had no other choice???

Have you come up against a dead end, or at least allowed yourself to be told it is one, when you always believed there is nothing impossible, there is no impossible situation, there is no impossible dream???

Have you almost wanted to scream from the center of your being and be heard to the ends of the world but found that you have lost your voice???

Have you ever walked away from the love of a lifetime knowing what you are doing but knowing there is no other way??? I did…I did…

Have you ever done that knowing that that kind of love may cross your way once if you are lucky, twice if you are really blessed but that it is possible that it will never cross your path again???

Do you know what THAT feels like??? I do today… I know my heart will hurt, my very center will scream… I wonder, is there anything, anything at all I could still have done?

I thought I had loved and lost once, survived, and have become invincible… nothing could ever hurt me like that because I would never love like that again… but sometimes love just sneaks up on you when you least expect it and takes your heart hostage in its hand and all you can do is hope that they will know what to do with it...

They say sometimes you love and you are loved, but the moment is not right… I don’t think I believe that! Hell, I KNOW I don’t… I believe you don’t get a choice in fighting for love…you know why??? because it would cripple you, numb you, waste your breath, drive you mad, tie your hands and dim your eyes and waste all your joys to just let it go… that is if your heart truly fell in love with all its being...if you fell in love heart and soul...